Tyler Perry Says This Is the Secret to Keeping Long-Lasting Friendships with Pals Like Kerry Washington (Exclusive)

Tyler Perry knows Hollywood is a tough industry — and maintaining deep, meaningful relationships can be even tougher. 

“This business is so short-sighted, and it’s so selfish. So if you want a long-lasting friendship in this business, lean in to the person,” he shares with pal Kerry Washington and PEOPLE in an exclusive interview. 

“Really listen, really check in. Because we’re so good at, ‘Oh, we’re fine,’ because we perform. We know how to fool the world that everything’s okay. Because when I say, ‘How are you?’, I really want [to know],” continues Perry, 55, who counts Oprah Winfrey among his friends.

Washington, 47, agrees. “I know, you’re one of those people where when you ask me, I have no choice but to tell the truth. Because you’ll ask me again,” says the Emmy winner. 

“Again and again,” adds Perry. “Because of what I feel when I’m looking into your eyes, I want to look past the mask that we show the world. And look in and go, ‘Okay, are you really okay?’”

Keeping secrets is also key, he says. “Hold people’s confidence. Hold their confidence. Hold it so sacredly so that when they tell you something, they know it’s a safe place. Because a lot of us don’t have that in this business.”

“Where we can be honest and be truthful and not be sold out. All of those are really, really important to have a long-lasting friendship in this business,” he adds.

Perry, who directed Washington (and Winfrey) in Netflix’s new historical drama The Six Triple Eight also opened up about first meeting his friend while they worked on the 2010 movie For Colored Girls.

“The beauty in working with you on that film was just having the opportunity to actually see you. Not just work with you, but see you. I’m like, ‘Oh no, this is a beautiful soul,” Perry tells Washington. 

She has high praise for Perry as well. “When we met on set, I was so moved and inspired by your elegant leadership. And it was something that I actually had just begun to articulate loving in my then boyfriend, who’s now my husband, that gentle, elegant leadership. And in you, I saw it on a film set,” says Washington, who shares three kids with NFL player turned actor Nnamdi Asomugha.

The pair kept in touch, and Washington leaned on Perry for wisdom as her profile rose thanks to the ABC series Scandal.

“I was so grateful that by the time Scandal came along in my career, that we already had a relationship, a friendship, a connection. Because that was such a rocket ship in my career. It was like, ‘What moment am I having?’ And the navigation of it was its own job,” says Washington. 

“But I felt always so supported by you. And I felt like you saw the rocket ship that we were on, and you held space for me to process it, to share the challenges of it, the joys of it. You actually encouraged me to sit in the joys of it and not just be stressed about the challenges of it,” she adds.

The Six Triple Eight is now streaming on Netflix.

For more on Tyler Perry, Kerry Washington and The Six Triple Eight, pick up the new issue of PEOPLE.