Trista Sutter Says She Was Relieved to ‘Finally’ Reveal Special Forces News After ‘Speculation’ About Her Marriage (Exclusive)

Trista Sutter can finally share her experience on Special Forces with fans.

In November, The Bachelorette alum, 52, spoke with PEOPLE at Fox’s Winter Press Junket about keeping her participation in Special Forces: World’s Toughest Test a secret for six months after her husband Ryan Sutter’s post about her being gone sparked speculation about their relationship.

Trista said she struggled to explain what was going on, so it was a relief when the news came out.

“I was like, ‘Oh my gosh, it’s finally here!’” she shared. “So excited to finally share with everybody. I think there was a lot of speculation at that point in time when [Ryan] posted and then it died down, which it always does.”

“But it was still really amazing to finally share — this is why he shouted that from the rooftops,” she continued. “And if you read it again, the post, knowing that that’s where I was, it totally makes sense.”

In May, Ryan took to Instagram with a lengthy message alongside photos of him and Trista, writing about missing her presence in his life. At the time, she was away filming the competition show, but unknowing fans began to wonder if she was okay and if the pair were facing marital problems.

“I really wish I could talk to you. Ask you how you’re doing? How was your day,” he wrote. “I’d really like to hear your voice – just for a minute. So many times I’ve called without much to say, not realizing how lucky I was or how much I’d miss the opportunity if it were gone.”

“I want to know how you’re doing,” it continued. “I want to support and encourage and cheer you on. I want to be there for you. But I can’t. And that’s ok cause I know you need this time – time to discover yourself again.”

He concluded: “So I’ll be here for you instead. I’ll be here when you get back. I’ll be here to listen to you, to smile with you, maybe cry with you – I’ll be here to love you… I’ll be here… forever.”

A week later, Trista broke her silence and shut down rumors of trouble in her marriage in her own Instagram post.

“Geez people. Can’t a girl have a nervous breakdown/trial separation/midlife crisis/death/divorce in peace around here?! 😜🤣,” Trista began, sharing a photograph of herself, her husband and their two kids — son Maxwell, 16, and daughter Blakesley, 14 — on vacation.

“In all seriousness, for those concerned, I’m safe and sound, happy and healthy, in love and grateful. 🥰,” she added. “For those who’d rather focus on being critical and searching way too hard for darkness, good luck with that. 🙃.”

At the time, she hinted at where she was that prompted Ryan’s post, saying, “an opportunity for perspective and personal growth presented itself and with the unconditional support of my family and friends, I chose myself and betterment, knowing that my stay-at-home-mom job and my kids end-of-the-school-year needs were in the best, most capable hands.”

Special Forces: World’s Toughest Test season 3 premieres with a two-hour episode on Wednesday, Jan. 8 at 8 p.m. ET on Fox.