Raven-Symoné Recalls Dissociating During Her Proposal to Wife Miranda Pearman-Maday: ‘Full-On Panic Attack’

Raven-Symoné is looking back on the experience of proposing to her wife.

During a recent appearance on The Unplanned Podcast, hosted by married couple Matt and Abby Howard, the Disney Channel alum, 38, and her wife, Miranda Pearman-Maday, recalled the day they got engaged — and Raven-Symoné’s unusual reaction.

“Raven stands before me and she looks at me and she goes, ‘I’m not gonna kneel because I’m in Gucci,’ ” Pearman-Maday, 37, said. “And I was like, ‘What?’ ”

She went on to say that her now-wife told her something along the lines of, “I think that you’re pretty great, and I think that we should get married and just like, do this. Are you in or are you out?”

The former personal assistant recalled accepting the proposal before glancing down at the ring. However, when she looked back up, Raven-Symoné had left and was “running across this two-car highway.”

“I look at her, and I’m like, did I just get proposed to?” Pearman-Maday said.

The That’s So Raven alum defended her actions, saying, “When you’re in the industry, not a lot of normal human behaviors feel like they match your life. I never felt like I had the acceptance to ever get married. I thought my life was going to be work. I knew how to act before I knew how to walk, so I knew how to work before I knew how to love in that kind of sense.”

Raven-Symoné explained that she felt overwhelmed and was experiencing a “full-on panic attack” during the sweet moment.

“I dissociate and I think that I’m, like, not alive. So I’m like, let me run across the street. Because if this is real, everything’s going to be okay,” she explained.

Raven-Symoné and Pearman-Maday first met at a bar in 2015 and kept their relationship under wraps until they tied the knot in June 2020. They had an intimate wedding ceremony in Los Angeles. 

The pair spoke to PEOPLE in June 2020 about their feelings after getting married. At the time, Raven-Symoné said, “Miranda makes me feel confident and empowered in an entirely new way. We planned our ceremony together, and it was a true reflection of our love and partnership.”

In April 2022, Raven-Symoné opened up to PEOPLE about her belief in therapy and shared how Pearman-Maday has helped her break down some of the protective barriers she put up during her childhood.

“Me getting married to Miranda has helped a lot,” she said at the time. “The people who are now on my team have really set a foundation that makes me feel comfortable enough because I know that somebody has my back.”

Last August, the actress celebrated Pearman-Maday’s 36th birthday by throwing her a surprise party. She shared highlights from the bash on Instagram as she wrote a touching tribute to her wife: “To @mirandamaday #happybirthday to my wife, lover, partner, and friend. Thank you for being empathetic, driven, and magical. You are loved by me and so many.”