JoJo Candidly Admits She’s ‘Been on Both Sides of the Coin’ with Infidelity: ‘I’ve Seen the Cost’ (Exclusive)

• Joanna “JoJo” Levesque released her first memoir, Over the Influence, on Sept. 17
• The singer and author goes deep in the book on many of her romantic relationships, some of which have ended due to infidelity
• “I have been on both sides of the coin of being hurt and hurting someone,” she candidly tells PEOPLE of past relationships

Joanna “JoJo” Levesque knows how it feels to get her heart broken. She also knows how it feels to break someone else’s heart.

In her new memoir, Over the Influence, out now, the 33-year-old singer and author writes candidly about various romantic relationships in her life, some of which have ended due to infidelity — with Levesque having admittedly been on “both sides of the coin,” she tells PEOPLE exclusively.

“I feel so sad that I have hurt people, even though in writing [the memoir], I was like, ‘Wow, I see how the pain I was in caused me to inflict pain into my relationships,'” says Levesque, who opens up about personal and professional hardships in the book, from child stardom to addiction and more.

The vocalist adds, “But it’s a part of my story, and I think that it feels empowering to talk about all of it — the good, the bad, the gross, the shameful, the embarrassing. It feels better to do that than to pretend.”

Levesque says she was first cheated on by a teenage boyfriend. She’s since experienced more infidelity, and acknowledges she has been unfaithful in multiple relationships.

At times when it’s happened to her in the past, she’s found herself “running for the hills,” she says, ready to simply deem someone “a cheater” and be done with it. “But obviously I want to be seen in a different light,” she admits, adding that it takes work to prove yourself as a trustworthy partner.

“You can’t just say you want to change. You have to change so much about the way you do things and the situations you put yourself in,” says Levesque, who abstained from sex while recording 2020’s Good to Know album after cheating on an ex-boyfriend.

“I can confidently say I’m no longer somebody who engages in those behaviors, and I never will, because I’ve seen the cost,” she adds. “I never want to hurt someone I love ever again.”

In Over the Influence, the “Too Little Too Late” musician also writes about bonding with an ex-fiancé over both having been unfaithful in past relationships, feeling ashamed and wanting to move forward with honesty.

While planning the prospective wedding, Levesque writes, she discovered her then-fiancé (who is not named in the book) was involved with another woman. Hoping to find a path forward, Levesque says her ex tried to prove his commitment to her by going to couples counseling, but she ultimately called off the engagement.

“I wanted to be thoughtful and classy, and I wanted to take the high road. I didn’t want to put too much out there, but I wanted to speak honestly while still being respectful,” Levesque — who’s publicly been romantically linked to Freddy Adu, Jeremiah McConico and Dexter Darden — says about including details about her past relationships in her book.

Despite her engagement’s difficult end, Levesque still feels the relationship was a “great experience” in her life. “I think my ex is a wonderful person, and I also believe that me ending that engagement allowed me to unlock a new chapter of my life that I’m really grateful for,” says the performer, who’s since moved from Los Angeles to New York City and made her Broadway debut as Satine in Moulin Rouge! The Musical.

Levesque also reveals she held onto her engagement ring until after completing her first run in Moulin Rouge! last year, and that she even considered pawning the jewelry before deciding to give it back to her ex.

“I really had to sit with myself and journal and ask myself what type of woman I want to be,” she says, noting that she doesn’t hold “any hate in my heart” toward her ex-fiancé. “I have been on both sides of the coin of being hurt and hurting someone, and I just wanted to leave it on an up note.”

Looking to the future, Levesque still maintains a positive outlook on romance. “I still am looking forward to having a partner and a family, but I’m not in a rush,” she explains. “I would much rather be single right now, learn how to really love myself and take care of myself and those around me.”