Jessica Klepser Says She’s Become ‘a New Person’ After Death of Actor Christian Oliver and Their Two Kids

Jessica Klepser is opening up about the tragic plane crash that took the lives of her two daughters, Madita, 12, and Annik, 10, alongside their dad, actor Christian Oliver, last January.

On Christina Applegate and Jamie-Lynn Sigler’s MeSsy podcast, Klepser detailed what happened to her family and how she learned of the horrible tragedy. She also opened up about how she feels they continue to give her strength.

“Last Christmas Eve, after celebrating a beautiful day with my two beautiful daughters and my ex-husband, I drove all three of them to the airport because they had planned a beautiful vacation in the Caribbean to celebrate the birthday of the dear, dear friend,” Klepser recalled to Applegate and Sigler.

“And they were supposed to come back on January 4, and they got on a little plane to leave the island on January 4. And right after takeoff, the little plane, I think the engine, something was wrong with the engine, the plane crashed into the water. And my two daughters, Madita and Annik, and my ex-husband Christian and also the pilot, they all crossed over.”

Klepser said she somewhat recalls getting the phone call about the news, but it was mostly a blur. She also said she’s not sure how to react when people tell her how strong she is.

“I mean, a lot of people are telling me that I’m strong, and it always sounds a little weird to me because, but yeah, I feel strong also means that you allow yourself to cry and to grieve and to scream. That’s all part of being strong,” she said.

Klepser also talked about her pregnancies and how she felt her daughters gave her strength from the inside to have home births with them both.

“I felt strong enough to deliver them both at home, and it was beautiful. And my girls always gave me so much strength. And for me, it feels like they’re still doing it. They’re still doing it from where they are now.”

Still, she notes that part of her grieving process is to just be openly bereft.

“I was that person before that thought strength is when you push through,” she told the podcast hosts.

“I was that person who wouldn’t ask for help, maybe because of the way I grew up with my mom always taking care of my dad, that was the picture I grew up with. Like, oh, you have to be in charge. You got this. I learned through this that vulnerability is the real strength. If you can open up and ask for help when it’s needed and really let those that are closest to you look inside your heart.”

Klepser said the accident has forever changed who she is.

“I became a new person after this, and I have to myself, get to know this person,” she said.

“It’s little things. Friday, for example, was always my favorite day in the week because I would pick them up from school, and everybody knew there was no school for two days. It was the weekend, and we would come home and have a movie night and pizza party in front of the TV. And now I am the person who hates Fridays because I’m coming home to an empty house. And I feel when they left, maybe the best to explain it is that they took this chunk of my heart with them, but they also left parts of their heart here. And now I have this new heart, which makes me a new person.”

Despite her ongoing grief, Klepser has also had good days, where she posted about feeling positive or small sparks of joy. She told Applegate and Sigler that she’s been shamed by strangers on the internet for daring to share positive sentiments on her Instagram.

“I feel every loving mother knows that my heart is broken, and I don’t have to post or proof pictures of me sitting in my bathroom by myself crying. That’s a given,” she says. “And that’s also no one’s business. But if I sometimes see a little bit of hope or have a good day and I like to share and talk about my girls, even if I want to do that till the end of my life, then I’m going to f—ing do it. And who are you to judge me?”

Klepser explains that she also could have been on that plane as well, and when she wonders why she wasn’t, she feels her girls coming into her heart.

“First of all, there must be a reason why I said no and why I am still here,” she says, later explaining that she wasn’t spiritual before their deaths, but that she is now.

“I cannot let them down now. I cannot let them down. I have to make them proud. And I also feel that I am in this very unique situation that I know, first of all, my girls loved each other so much, and I know that Christian loved them almost as much as I do. They are together; they are with their dad. We are still doing this co-parenting thing, kind of. He’s with them. He’s taking care of them for now until I am going to join them. And that helps me. That helps me so much to know that they’re not alone.”

She adds, “When I need them the most, then I can feel them the most.”

Visit here to listen to Jessica Klepser’s full episode of MeSsy.