It was love at first sight for Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi.
After meeting backstage at a concert in 2001, DeGeneres and de Rossi formed an instant connection. However, de Rossi hadn’t yet come out as a gay woman and DeGeneres had no idea how the Ally McBeal actress felt. It took three years for the pair to finally admit their feelings to each other and from there, things moved quickly.
The pair reconnected at an event in 2004 and began dating shortly after. By the following year, DeGeneres had said that de Rossi was her soulmate. Once gay marriage became legal in California in 2008, the couple tied the knot and have since grown more and more in love.
“She is the kindest, most generous, most loving, loyal, trustworthy person I have ever known. She’s a very special human being. Some of it sometimes rubs off on me,” de Rossi told PEOPLE in 2021.
From their first connection to their philanthropic efforts, here’s everything to know about Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi’s relationship.
2001: Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi meet at a concert
DeGeneres and de Rossi met for the first time at a Rock the Vote concert back in 2001. At the time, de Rossi had not yet publicly come out as a lesbian, but later recalled that it was love at first sight. “I remember thinking that she was the coolest, most fascinating, beautiful, funniest person I’d ever met,” she later told PEOPLE.
The duo briefly chatted at the concert and ran into each other several times over the next few years — but it took some time for them to confess their mutual attraction.
“[I knew she was the one for me] when I first laid eyes on her,” de Rossi said in an interview with Oprah Winfrey in 2009. “But it took me three years to actually tell her how I felt about her because I was on Ally McBeal at the time and I was not living as an openly gay person. I was closeted and very, very afraid that if I talked about being gay, it would be the end of my career. So, I wasn’t about to date the most famous lesbian in the world.”
December 1, 2004: Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi cross paths again and begin dating
In 2004, DeGeneres and de Rossi ran into each other again — a moment de Rossi later said changed everything for her.
“I ran into Ellen at a photo shoot about a year ago and she took my breath away,” de Rossi told The Advocate in 2005. “That had never happened to me in my life, where I saw somebody and [experienced] all of those things you hear about in songs and read about in poetry. My knees were weak. It was amazing. And it was very hard for me to get her out of my mind after that.”
At the time, the comedian and the Arrested Development actress were both in long-term relationships, DeGeneres with photographer Alexandra Hedison and de Rossi with singer Francesca Gregorini. After ending things with their respective partners, DeGeneres and de Rossi began dating.
“She had a girlfriend and I had a girlfriend, but it wasn’t like, ‘Oh, we’re going to have an affair.’ We were just supposed to be together,” DeGeneres told PEOPLE in 2005. “It was a tough decision. I was physically getting sick because I was trying not to say anything. So I told Alex and she told Francesca. It was really hard to uproot everything.”
January 16, 2005: Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi confirm romance with first public appearance
Not long after, DeGeneres and de Rossi made their relationship public when they attended a Golden Globe Awards afterparty together.
“It was a big deal for her to be seen with me,” DeGeneres recalled. “The very first time we were photographed together was when I joined her at the Golden Globes afterparty. And that’s when everyone knew that we were together.”
August 2005: Portia de Rossi opens up about relationship with Ellen DeGeneres
Several months after quietly coming out, de Rossi spoke to The Advocate about her relationship with DeGeneres. She shared that they had a “very respectful, very loving, peaceful relationship,” which made her feel “not alone” for the first time in her life.
De Rossi also opened up about her experience being a public figure coming out as gay.
“My feelings for her overrode all of my fear about being out as a lesbian,” she said of her then-girlfriend. “I had to be with her, and I just figured I’d deal with the other stuff later. It’s hard having a relationship that’s public. It’s hard living a life that’s somewhat public, and hard when you put that life together with someone who is so famous and so loved and admired. It’s also real exciting.”
September 18, 2005: Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi make their red carpet debut
Later that year, DeGeneres and de Rossi made their red carpet debut at the Primetime Emmy Awards, where DeGeneres later took the stage as host.
November 14, 2005: Ellen DeGeneres says Portia de Rossi is the one
Almost a year into her relationship, DeGeneres told PEOPLE that she knew de Rossi was the one.
“It’s the first time that I’ve known in every cell of my being that I’m with somebody for the rest of my life,” DeGeneres said. She added, “If it were legal, we would be married, but it’s not legal.”
January 2007: Ellen DeGeneres says relationship with Portia de Rossi is a “perfect fit”
The talk show host reiterated she and de Rossi were soulmates again a few years later.
“I could say the same thing I’ve said in every relationship: ‘I’m happy.’ But there’s happiness and there’s love, and then there’s completion,” DeGeneres said in an interview. “It doesn’t take away from any of the relationships that I’ve had, ’cause I’ve had amazing relationships. … But I feel like I found my perfect fit.”
May 15, 2008: Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi announce their engagement
DeGeneres and de Rossi had been planning a commitment ceremony when the California Supreme Court struck down a law banning same-sex marriage — and DeGeneres popped the question shortly after. She announced their engagement on The Ellen DeGeneres Show.
“Ellen was going to surprise me with a commitment ceremony at a joint birthday party that we were going to have,” de Rossi later shared on The Oprah Show. “So we made the date of August the 16th, and then during that time, gay marriage became legal in California. So we were about to have this ceremony and then, all of a sudden, it was like a gift that it was then legal.”
August 16, 2008: Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi wed
Three months later, DeGeneres and de Rossi married in an intimate ceremony at their home in Los Angeles. DeGeneres’ mom Betty DeGeneres and de Rossi’s mother Margaret Rogers, who flew in from Australia, were among the 19 guests at the special occasion.
The couple walked down the aisle in custom Zac Posen designs and exchanged rings by Neil Lane during their afternoon ceremony.
January 16, 2009: Portia de Rossi says marriage to Ellen DeGeneres changed her life
Just months after saying “I do,” de Rossi opened up about how her life had “completely changed” since marrying DeGeneres. She had not only emerged with the confidence to “live an honest, open life” — she also felt more secure.
“Marriage is a different way of being together,” the Better Off Ted actress told PEOPLE. “There’s a peace to [being married] and a sense of togetherness that we just didn’t have before. And I didn’t even realize it would change as much as it has, but it’s so lovely.”
De Rossi continued: “It’s legal, and it’s real, so there’s that kind of formality to it that makes it very valid. I think the emotions that went with that as a gay woman kind of surprised me — that I would be that relieved to have my mother be present at the ceremony to bless the union, and to call [Ellen] her daughter-in-law.”
June 2009: Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi say they are “happily married without children”
Although DeGeneres and de Rossi had once considered having children, by 2009 they had decided that kids weren’t in the cards.
“I don’t think we’re going to have kids. We have animals, and we love them,” DeGeneres said. “And, you know, we are brand new aunts. Her brother and his wife just had a baby girl who’s a month old now, and it’s fun to be a part of that.”
She continued, “It’s just a huge responsibility, and I don’t know that that’s something we want to take on. We’re very happily married without children.”
November 2009: Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi talk to Oprah Winfrey about their marriage
Following the couple’s first wedding anniversary, DeGeneres and de Rossi opened up about their marriage on The Oprah Show. DeGeneres said she felt lucky she got to experience it at all.
“I feel very fortunate. I feel really, really lucky to have found that connection,” DeGeneres told Winfrey. “It feels like you’re home. There’s an anchor. There’s a safety.”
The couple also addressed the passing of Prop 8, the 2008 ballot proposition that re-banned same-sex marriage in California. DeGeneres and de Rossi’s marriage would remain intact, but they expressed their disappointment in the decision.
“We cried,” DeGeneres said. “It was just a bad sign for humanity, I thought. It was sad, and I think it’s fear tactics. I don’t know how my love impacts somebody else’s life. It’s just my love. It was heartbreaking.”
September 23, 2010: Portia de Rossi takes Ellen DeGeneres’ name
In August 2010, de Rossi filed to legally change her name to Portia Lee James DeGeneres in order to take “the last name of her spouse.” The L.A. County Superior Court approved her request that September. She continued to use the surname de Rossi in her professional life.
March 3, 2014: Ellen DeGeneres says she falls “more in love” with Portia de Rossi every day amid breakup rumors
DeGeneres shut down rumors of a split in a 2014 essay for PEOPLE. The comedian shared that her relationship with de Rossi was the opposite of rocky — and she was actually more in love than ever.
“The truth is, and this is corny, I fall more in love with Portia all the time,” she wrote. “I really do. … She’s so funny, really smart, talented and kind. I love her so much it kills me. What amazes me is that it never is boring. I make her laugh, but she really makes me laugh. It’s what anyone experiences when you find that person that gets you, wants to take care of you, wants the best for you. We’re really lucky because we know how rare it is.”
September 10, 2015: Ellen DeGeneres shuts down more rumors of divorce from Portia de Rossi
Through 2015, DeGeneres and de Rossi continued to face divorce rumors. During an interview with Howard Stern, DeGeneres set the record straight. She explained that she thought the tabloids continued to make up divorce rumors because the couple were “boring” otherwise, and they were considering taking legal action.
“I don’t understand why they do it,” DeGeneres said. “We’re kind of flattered because for a while no one cared about us, and we thought, ‘Oh, lesbians aren’t worthy of tabloid stories.’ So now we’re kind of flattered that they care about us. [But] we really don’t almost break up, we don’t fight, we are madly in love, and I guess it’s boring.”
January 2016: Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi adopt a puppy
DeGeneres and de Rossi added a new member to their family — an adorable puppy. While the couple already had several animals, this particular pup’s name was a cheeky nod to a question they were asked all the time.
“I named him Kid because, ya know … there have been rumors forever,” DeGeneres said on her show. “‘When are you and Portia gonna have a kid?’ So, now I can say, ‘We have a Kid.’ So it can just stop.”
October 19, 2016: Ellen DeGeneres shares her secret to successful marriage to Portia de Rossi
Later that year, DeGeneres shared her secret to a successful marriage, explaining that the couple prioritize each other over their careers and constantly remind each other of how lucky they are.
“Portia and I constantly say to each other, ‘We are so lucky.’ Sometimes it’s lying in bed at night before I go to sleep, and I just say thank you to whatever, whoever is out there,” she told PEOPLE. “I’ve gotten to a place where I really am just settled. Really. I know that I’m not going anywhere. She’s not going anywhere.”
January 26, 2018: Portia de Rossi gives Ellen DeGeneres a gorilla sanctuary for her birthday
In honor of DeGeneres’ 60th birthday, de Rossi surprised her with two special gifts: a gorilla sanctuary in her name at a Rwandan national park and the Ellen DeGeneres Wildlife Fund.
The Wildlife Fund aims to protect and advocate for the world’s most vulnerable animals and wildlife, while the sanctuary would become a permanent and safe home for the Dian Fossey Gorilla Fund.
“It’s your 60th birthday, and this gift had to be really special and represent who you are and what you really care about,” de Rossi said on an episode of DeGeneres’ talk show. “Not just now, but what you’ve always cared about — what you were influenced by and what has made you the amazing person that you are today.”
August 16, 2018: Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi celebrate their 10th anniversary
In 2018, DeGeneres and de Rossi celebrated their 10th wedding anniversary. They commemorated the occasion by sharing photos and videos from their intimate ceremony.
The couple also shared the speech that their officiant, philosopher Wayne Dyer, gave after they exchanged vows. de Rossi wrote, “We wanted to share Wayne Dyer’s poignant and special words with you to remind us all how far we’ve come — that we are living in a country that supports #marriageequality.”
December 1, 2019: Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi mark 15 years since they began dating
In 2019, DeGeneres and de Rossi commemorated 15 years since they began dating. To mark the special occasion, DeGeneres hired a plane with a banner that read “15 ❤️” to fly over their home — but the writing turned out smaller than anticipated and the duo had some trouble reading it.
“Portia and I started dating 15 years ago today,” DeGeneres wrote beneath a video of the flyby. “I hired a plane to fly by the house with a banner that said 15 with a heart. I should have specified the size.”
February 13, 2020: Ellen DeGeneres shares how she keeps the romance alive with Portia de Rossi
Even after a decade of marriage, DeGeneres was still pulling out all the stops for de Rossi. She explained that every time de Rossi leaves town, she arranges for something special to be waiting for her at her hotel.
“Whenever Portia has to go out of town and I’m not with her, I surprise her and I call the hotel and I set it up,” DeGeneres shared on an episode of her talk show. “They put a huge heart-shaped thing of rose petals on her bed. So when she walks into the room, the whole bed is covered with a heart-shaped rose petal.”
April 2020: Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi donate $1 million to COVID-19 pandemic relief efforts
In early 2020, DeGeneres and de Rossi began isolating in their home amid the COVID-19 pandemic. While the couple had fun playing games and doing puzzles, they also made a $1 million donation to pandemic relief efforts. Their contribution went toward the All-In Challenge, an initiative that aimed to raise $100 million for nonprofits supporting vulnerable communities during the pandemic.
The couple were inspired to donate to the campaign after Leonardo DiCaprio and Robert De Niro nominated them.
“It’s heartbreaking and it’s overwhelming,” DeGeneres said at the time. “I’ve already given to some of my favorite charities, including Direct Relief, because so many people need money. But today, Portia and I are personally donating $1 million to Meals on Wheels, No Kid Hungry and America’s Food Fund.”
From her home, the talk show host added, “I usually don’t talk about my personal donations, it’s something I keep private, but I’m really hoping that this inspires anyone who’s in a position to help, to help. Because there’s a lot of need out there.”
August 3, 2020: Portia de Rossi supports Ellen DeGeneres amid toxic workplace allegations
Later that year, DeGeneres found herself at the center of controversy when former employees accused her of creating a toxic work environment on the set of her talk show. While the situation sparked social media backlash and an internal investigation, de Rossi stood by DeGeneres.
“To all our fans….we see you. Thank you for your support,” de Rossi wrote on Instagram, adding several related hashtags, including the phrase DeGeneres uses to close out her show: “Be kind to one another.”
DeGeneres later told PEOPLE that de Rossi was a major source of support during the difficult time.
“It broke my heart; I couldn’t have gone through everything I went through without her. It was a horrible time in my life, and she was a rock,” DeGeneres told PEOPLE. “She kept me going and tried to help me put things in perspective.”
She added, “We’re lucky to have each other. We practice a lot of gratitude.”
February 10, 2021: Portia de Rossi says Ellen DeGeneres helped her accept being gay
During an interview for PEOPLE’s Love Issue, de Rossi shared that, prior to her relationship with DeGeneres, she “really wasn’t comfortable” with her own sexuality — but her future wife helped her through it.
“I just got to a point where I chose love over anything else. This was a once-in-a-lifetime feeling,” de Rossi told PEOPLE. “Ellen really did help me through it just by being there and making me feel more comfortable about who I am — like there was nothing wrong with being gay. I think that’s the first time in my life I felt that was true.”
March 2021: Ellen DeGeneres supports Portia de Rossi through health scare
In March 2021, DeGeneres rushed de Rossi to the hospital, where she underwent emergency surgery for appendicitis. The comedian recounted the incident on her talk show, explaining that de Rossi had gone to bed early because she felt ill. DeGeneres was later woken up by her wife, and she quickly drove her to the emergency room.
“I am happy to report Portia is feeling much better now,” DeGeneres said. “She’s home. She came home late yesterday. Not all of her, she left her appendix at the hospital. I’m going to auction off the appendix for charity. I’m kidding, it’s gonna go on eBay.”
April 29, 2021: Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi celebrate 3,000 episodes of The Ellen DeGeneres Show
After recovering from her appendicitis, de Rossi helped DeGeneres celebrate 3,000 episodes of The Ellen DeGeneres Show. The proud wife showed up to set with a spread of cupcakes and later shared a video on Instagram.
“Congratulations on 3000 episodes, brilliant woman!” she wrote.
August 16, 2021: Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi celebrate 13th wedding anniversary
DeGeneres and de Rossi posted social media tributes to each other on their 13th wedding anniversary in 2021. DeGeneres shared a selfie with the caption, “Happy anniversary, Portia. I’m the luckiest girl in the world because I get to share my life with you.” For her post, de Rossi opted for a carousel of photos.
“13 years ago I married the love of my life. And it just keeps getting better ♥️🥂,” she wrote in the caption.
May 26, 2022: Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi plan to travel after talk show finale
The Ellen DeGeneres Show‘s finale aired in May 2022, after 19 seasons on the air. The couple shared that they had big plans for the summer and the time off.
DeGeneres told PEOPLE that they planned to kick things off with a safari in Rwanda, where they would also celebrate the grand opening of the Ellen DeGeneres Campus of the Dian Fossey Gorilla Fund.
December 1, 2022: Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi celebrate 18 years together
In December 2022, DeGeneres and de Rossi marked another milestone in their relationship: 18 years together.
The retired talk show host penned a sweet message to her wife in honor of the anniversary, writing, “It’s our 18 year anniversary today. I fall in love with her more every day. I’m so grateful for her love.”
A few months earlier, DeGeneres celebrated National Coming Out Day with another tribute to de Rossi. “Coming out was the best choice I ever made. Look what it got me. #NationalComingOutDay,” she wrote alongside a photo of her and de Rossi standing on a beach.
January 31, 2023: Ellen DeGeneres celebrates Portia de Rossi’s 50th birthday
DeGeneres celebrated de Rossi’s birthday milestone with a post on Instagram.
“Happy birthday, Portia. Thank God for you,” she captioned an image of her wife.
February 2, 2023: Ellen DeGeneres reveals she and Portia de Rossi renewed their vows
At de Rossi’s birthday party, the Arrested Development alum surprised DeGeneres with a vow renewal. The ceremony was officiated by Kris Jenner and featured a performance from Brandi Carlile. DeGeneres posted a video of the event on Instagram, which featured de Rossi, who wore her Zac Posen gown from the pair’s 2008 wedding, finding the retired talk show host in a crowd of guests.
“Surprise! You don’t have to say anything at all,” de Rossi said as the ceremony begins.
In her caption, DeGeneres called her wife “the greatest gift” and directed followers to the full video on YouTube.
In the longer clip, Jenner praised the two as “one of my favorite couples” before stepping away to allow de Rossi to speak to DeGeneres and their guests. “When I was thinking about what would make my birthday really special, apart from being with family and friends, it was reminding you that you’re the most important thing in the world to me in front of family and friends,” she said before talking about the couple’s special relationship and their future.
April 13, 2023: Ellen DeGeneres says Portia de Rossi is more passionate about horses than houses
DeGeneres loves flipping houses, while de Rossi would rather be hanging out with her horses.
“She’s as passionate about horses as I am about houses. We don’t delve into each other’s silos,” the former TV host said in an interview with The RIV Magazine about the couple’s new home in Montecito, Calif. “In fact, I can’t really get her to go into a furniture store with me. Unless there’s a horse in there somewhere.”
July 11, 2023: Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi vacation with Kris Jenner and Corey Gamble
DeGeneres and de Rossi joined Kris Jenner and Corey Gamble on a yacht off the coast of Spain. The reality star shared a photo of the four friends on Instagram and wrote: “Life was meant for good friends and great adventures!”
August 16, 2023: Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi celebrate 15 years of marriage
In honor of their wedding anniversary, DeGeneres penned a sweet post on Instagram about de Rossi.
“To my wife of 15 years- I fall more in love with you every day,” she wrote. “My life is blessed because you’re in it. Happy anniversary.”
December 1, 2023: Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi celebrate their 19th anniversary of dating
After nearly two decades together, DeGeneres and de Rossi decided to share their best relationship advice in a video on Instagram.
“Don’t ever lie about anything,” de Rossi said. DeGeneres agreed and added, “You shouldn’t take someone for granted. I tell [de Rossi] she’s pretty all the time.”
August 9, 2024: Source says Portia de Rossi is “super supportive” of Ellen DeGeneres’ final comedy tour
DeGeneres’ farewell comedy tour kicked off in June 2024. A source told PEOPLE that de Rossi is “super supportive” of her wife but “loves” when they’re both at home in Montecito, California.
“They have created a special life in Montecito,” the insider added. “It’s truly a magical place.”
November 21, 2024: Source says Portia de Rossi and Ellen DeGeneres have relocated to England
According to a source, DeGeneres and de Rossi have moved to the Cotswolds in England.
“Ellen was in England house hunting [at] the beginning of October. She ended up finding a house that she loved and purchased it shortly after,” the insider explained to PEOPLE.
Several celebrities, including David and Victoria Beckham, Kate Moss and Elizabeth Hurley have homes in the area.
Source: People
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