Drew Barrymore and Demi Moore Share How Their ‘Carbon Copy Upbringings’ Influenced Outlooks on Motherhood

Drew Barrymore and Demi Moore can relate to each other on many levels.

On the Friday, Sept. 20 episode of The Drew Barrymore Show, Barrymore, 49, and Moore, 61, spoke candidly about how their difficult upbringings in the spotlight affected the way they view motherhood. Both actresses paused their careers after welcoming their children and revealed they waited to get the “green light” from their kids before getting back into the business,

“I wanted to get to the place where my kids were like, ‘You can go back out there and do your thing,’ ” said Barrymore, who’s a mom to daughters Olive, 12, and Frankie, 10, whom she shares with ex Will Kopelman. “And I waited until I got that green light from them. I really did.”

The two then discussed their tough experiences juggling work and parenting at once, and Barrymore explained, “This is what working parents all go through — the juggle. It doesn’t feel like you’re doing well anywhere and it’s really difficult. I think what we’re doing to we’re doing to ourselves in that time is total criticizing and feeling like a failure and just not good anywhere you go.”

She added, “It’s so good to connect with other people” on the issue, upon connecting with Moore, who’s a mom to daughters Tallulah Belle, 29, Scout LaRue Willis, 32, and Rumer Glenn Willis, 35.

When it comes to just being a mom to her kids, Barrymore said, “It’s my favorite thing in the world,” adding, “Also, it’s a childhood I never experienced that I’ve wanted so badly for my own children to experience.”

“So here we have a carbon copy, again, with our upbringings,’ she said to Moore.

Moore then reflected on her childhood, sharing, “I accept that my parents did the best they could, and my mom did the best she could with the level of consciousness and awareness that she had at the time. But, we were both more the parent to our parents.”

“A straight up adult!” Barrymore chimed in.

Moore continued, “The weight of that — I mean, both of our parents let us take the car without driver’s licenses.”

“At 13?” Barrymore asked, to which Moore said, “Yes!”

“I think it’s really interesting I did not take any anger or resentment into my own being a parent,” Barrymore admitted. “I took the ‘Oh my god I have so much pressure on myself not to screw this up. How am I ever going to meet these standards?'”

Moore then explained the outlook she adopted to not feel any anger and resentment towards her mom.

“I don’t think my mother came into this world with the intention to be less than nurturing, to be neglectful, to not really be able to show up as a parent for me,” she shared. “I think she came in with the innocence of a soul that wanted to find happiness, to feel love and to confirm. And when I look and find the compassion for my mother, I know that in that, I then open the pathway for my children to have compassion for me”

Barrymore agreed, saying, “And that is why I say to my mom ‘I love you,’ because the hard, weird, crazy choices you made led me to here”